Cracking true stories from the Outback - Part 3: the characters & way of life

David Allan
Aug 8, 2021
6 min read

Updated: Aug 8, 2024

Cracking true stories from the Outback is a series of journals about life in remote Australia and the characters who live there.

It's a place where adventure and discovery are constant companions.

The stories are not so much about an event but rather a time, an attitude, a way of life.

The 'Bush', refers to rural areas. The 'Outback', refers to locations more remote than rural areas and the 'Never Never' is a remote & mystical place that lies beyond the Outback.

The rich and unembellished stories in this post comes from our time living in Cairns, Darwin and Elcho Island in Arnhem Land. You couldn't make this stuff up.

Why tell stories?:

Story telling is an essential human need that has been used, for ever, for entertainment, education and cultural preservation. Compelling story telling is the path to imagination and people are hungry for stories.

Memorable travel turns you into a story teller.

Story # 1 - the Russian invasion - 'like trying to kill a Rhino with a nerf gun':

This Cooktown story, on this plaque, is gold. It records the Government response to a feared Russian invasion in 1885 which would have been as effective as trying to kill a Rhino with a nerf gun.

Story # 2 - Landcruiser hit by missile:

This following story & photo was reported in the NT News in May 2004.

In August every year the RAAF carry out military exercises over Darwin.

During ‘Operation Pitch Black’, in August 2000, a 250 Kg -12 foot dummy missile fell off a RAAF FA-18 Hornet and hit Tony Travers 1974 Toyota Landcruiser at approximately 500 kph as he was preparing a BBQ.

Half the missile broke off on impact and smashed into another 3 cars before hitting a fence and coming to rest on a Nissan Patrol.

Four years later, in 2004, Tony got done for drink driving. The judge was not convinced by Tony's defence which was, that after surviving the 2000 bombing of his Landcruiser he had to drink during the August airforce exercises to keep his stress levels down.

When we lived in Darwin, in 2011, Tony's Landcruiser still sat outside his radiator repair shop as memorabilia.

Story # 3 - Darwin woman gets hypothermia after cold spell:

This story was reported in the NT News 27/5/2004: An unusual cold spell hit Darwin in May where it plummeted to 14 degrees at 4am. As a consequence a Darwin woman became the only Darwinite to ever be diagnosed with hypothermia (apart from a bloke that got locked in a butchers cool room a few years before).

Sue Carpenter, 51, said doctors thought her case was "unusual". "I would never survive a winter down south" she said. Ms Carpenter - who has lived in the Territory for 15 years - said she got the condition after walking from home barefoot on cold concrete to get the paper from the shops at 4.30am. Five hours later an ambulance was taking her to Royal Darwin Hospital. "Bugger the mozzies, the cold will get you" she said.

Story # 4 - bride & groom fall into engine room:

While we lived in Darwin in 2011, the NT News reported the story of a wedding reception held on a boat in Darwin Harbour. It seems the whole crowd got a tad intoxicated and the groom fell into the engine room through an open hatch. Whilst waiting for help from emergency services, the bride also fell trough the open hatch. When the ambos arrived they would not board the vessel until the Police boarded the vessel to control the guests.

Story # 5 - thongs in a boat are bad luck:

While we lived in Darwin in 2011, the NT News reported the story of a pair of fishos who went out in the boat for the day. Before they left the boat ramp, one fisho told his mate it was bad luck to bring thongs out in the boat and he would have to leave them at the boat ramp.

On returning to the boat ramp, at the end of the day, the owner of the thongs was horrified to find his thongs had been stolen. These were his only thongs and special in that they had a bottle opener underneath. He had to go to a party that night and was traumatised to have to wear covered over shoes. In fact, he had to leave the party early as he just could not cope.

Ultimately, he initiated crowd funding to raise money for new thongs.

Story # 6 - cut & roll housing:

We met a delightful elderly lady at Barcaldine Hospital Emergency who had lived in Barcaldine most of her life. A visit to a town is never complete without a visit to emergency. She told us the story of how they got their first house. They had a block of land but things were very tough in those days and it was not easy to build their house. They soon saw an ad from someone selling half of their house as long as the buyer could cut it off and remove it. It turned out to be their neighbour over the road. So, they bought the half house, cut it off from the remaining house, then rolled it, in one entire piece, over the road to their block of land on 44 gallon drums then set it up on piers. Various extensions followed over the years ahead.

# 7 - that's not an emergency:

It’s the fascinating people that give Cape York the final frontier image. Like the notice on the hospital door we observed at Coen where it seemed the nurses felt the need to clarify what constitutes an after hours medical emergency.

The notice read:

The nurses work Monday to Friday 8am to 5pm. After hours call out’s are for emergencies only.

Don’t call the nurses if you want a lift home;
Don’t call the nurses if you want an argument settled;
Don’t call the nurses if you want someone removed from the house or party;
Don’t call the nurses and then tell them to F_ _ _ off;

The council at Coen also seemed to think they needed to spell out what items should not be flushed down the public toilets. Some of the more interesting items on this list included phone books, newspapers, metal, glass, wood, plastic, feathers, blood, entrails and explosive liquids.

Story # 8 - gun shearer Jack Howe:

I really love the story of gun shearer, Jack Howe, who put Blackall on the map in 1892. At nearby Alice Downs Station, Jack set a world record by shearing 321 sheep in seven hours and 40 minutes, with blade shears, finishing 20 mins before knock off time. It took another 58 years before anyone matched this feat yet they needed machine shears. They say Jack's hands were the size of tennis rackets.

The statue in the photo immortalises Jack Howe and sits in front of a small museum that celebrates Jack and the rich wool history of this region.

Story # 9 - "they will never figure out who was driving":

Another story, from in the NT News in 2004, reported a driver who was followed by Police in Katherine and flashed with lights to pullover due to a speeding offence. At this, the driver panicked and jumped into the back seat with his two mates. The car careered down the road getting slower and slower until the Police had to run it down on foot, open the door and stop the car.

The drivers strategy was based on the assumption that the cops will never be able to work out who was driving.

Story # 10 - 'strange but true':

Walhalla, Victoria, is an historic gold mining town surrounded by mountainous terrain. So much so, even the cemetery is located on the side of a steep hill.

Legend has it, that a very large lady was carried up the hill to the cemetery for burial. Put simply, she was a big unit, like a fridge on legs. So exhausting was this job for the pallbearers, that on arriving at the burial plot they placed her down on the sloping ground with a bit of a thud causing the coffin to break open.

To make matters worse, the body tipped out and rolled all the way down to the bottom of the hill.

Not able to face going through all that again, the lady was then buried where she lay which explains why this is the only grave at the bottom of the hill.

The photo above shows the Walhalla cemetery on the side of the hill.